A clique is defined as a small group of people, with shared interests or other features in common, who spend time together and do not readily allow others to join them.
I always knew that cliques exist and can most often be found with groups of girls, however I never realized how young they can begin until I started to teach. Over the past 29 years I am seeing cliques appear at younger and younger ages and in the past few years I see it most often in 4 year old girls. The exclusion and at times the simple “mean girl” mentality is something that exists in preschool and has to be tackled early on to begin to make a positive change.
For this reason about 10 years ago I created a program that I call “Girl Talk”. My thought was that if we could teach girls at a young age the value of girlfriends and the words and actions to support that value, perhaps we can begin to change generations of girls for the better.
Each September I meet with all of my Pre-Kinder and Kindergarten girls for a discussion about girlfriends. We talk about what they like about themselves, what they like about their friends and what are the qualities/actions that make a friend. The girls always amaze me by their ability to express their thoughts and we end each session with a special bonding project. The girls and I will meet at least once per month (more often if a problem comes up) and talk about friendships and conflicts. Often they will bring up a problem on the playground and together the other girls will come up with a suggestion to help.
Our discussions have covered topics including: how to make a friend, (the girls came up with step by step directions), how to tell someone you do not want to play right now with kindness, what to do if someone doesn’t like your outfit, what can you do if you see a girl sitting all alone, and on an on!
By the end of the year the girls can practically run the meetings without me. They listen to each other, bring up discussions that they want to talk about and genuinely care for each other. I will often hear from former parents that the lessons learned in “Girl Talk” have made a positive and lasting difference. Knowing this gives me hope that we can change the way that girls talk to each other and perhaps from little girls to women we will cherish the value of our girlfriends.
